Books I recommend reading in Pregnancy
- Carmen Fourie
- Jan 28
- 11 min read
Like everything in my life - I value approaching pregnancy, birth and parenting with intention. Making conscious choices. Pregnancy is, in my experience, a very vulnerable, sacred, sensitive and mostly internal time. I naturally found myself being very internal and wanting to protect my space (my mind). I believe this natural shift that many women experience aids us in the process by us having a natural desire to spend more time alone reading and checking in with ourselves, our growing baby and our partner we've chosen to embark on this journey with.
You are responsible for your pregnancy, your birth and your baby.
It's easy to forget this in our modern world of outsourcing thinking, decision making and doing to others. Therefore, I offer this reminder - only you. It is your body, your baby and your motherhood journey. There will be so many opinions, comments and questions about how you choose to approach your pregnancy, your birth and your baby. This offers you a gift of digging deep to reconnect with your intuition, to solidify your shared values with your life partner, to walk straight into your fears and put down the coping mechanisms that once served you, but you know won't serve the mother you want to be. This, I believe, can be the most life altering transformation of your life, the most profound breaking open and healing, discovering and rediscovering time of your life - if you choose for it to be. If you choose to approach it with intentionality and consciousness. If you choose to take radical ownership of your motherhood experience and your baby.
We don't suddenly wake up being the parent we always wanted to be - we get there with every single step we take in preconception, trying to conceive, pregnancy, birth and beyond. Every challenge and every decision is an opportunity to embody the mother we want to be.
I had 4 pregnancy losses before Elba. Thats 5 pregnancies in a 12-month period. Everyone was at a loss as to why this was happening. Testing revealed random and very common chromosome abnormalities that we have yet to discover any kind of link to (as in no known genetic, health or environmental factors). The gift I took from this was that there was something I needed to learn on my road to motherhood. Something that clearly took me a few times to really learn. It was in my 5th pregnancy that I truly surrendered and faced my desire to control as a way of coping. I surrendered to face my fears and the unknown and trust my baby to come when the time and conditions are right (I recommend reading "The art of living" by Thich Nhat Hanh). It's not the road I wish for anyone, but we (my husband and I) recognize that it came with many gifts and lessons that we are very grateful for because they helped us show up as the parents we want to be.
There are many decisions in pregnancy that you will make - to do scans or not to do scans, to drink raw milk or not to drink raw milk, to take supplements, to do blood tests, who, if anyone, will be a care provider for you (OB, GP, Midwife, traditional midwife, birth keeper or no one), who will you soundboard with, who will you turn to for wisdom and a safe space when you need it, where and how do you wish to birth and so much more. In these many decisions we can forget that these are decisions... they are not default things that NEED to happen. In my experience it truly matters to sit and make intentional decisions, even when, or especially when, it's hard.
I made a few decisions that I felt were so life enriching for my pregnancy, birth and parenting experience. These were different from the norm, but they were wonderful. Not easy, but wonderful. An example is I did not once take a pregnancy test with Elba. I waited. I can't describe the moment I first felt movement as my proof of life. 16 weeks I waited after 4 losses and then I felt this most tiny bubble-like movement and I knew exactly what it was. It was beyond beautiful. A very hard 16 weeks. But so precious. Hard can be wonderful. Hard can be worth it. Hard is not a bad thing.
In today's blog I share with you some books I read that offered some value and guidance on my journey. Books that were a source of inspiration and deep thought on topics. Books that were valuable to me in a time where we are faced with big decisions and a life altering experience. I hope they offer value to you too.
Disclaimer - I do not agree with all of the information contained in all of these books. I took what I felt served me and I left what I felt didn't.
With that all being said here are the books I recommend reading during pregnancy
If like me, you had some hardships in your journey this may be a good book. I don't necessary recommend it to everyone, because much of it won't resonate, but I do think the parts about marketing to women in pregnancy and how that has influenced women's approach to pregnancy is useful for most women. It offers a good reminder not to get caught up in the material things.
A book that is often recommended to women for pregnancy after miscarriage is Pregnancy After Loss by Zoe Clark-Coates. I recognize it offers a lot of value to many women in pregnancy after loss, but I will also say that I started reading it and found it did not resonate with me, and I stopped reading it.
It's a great resource for eating well during pregnancy. There are a few things in the book I don't agree with (my personal health choice) - specifically the low carb and anti-sugar things, but for the most part I found a lot of value in this book. I like that it focuses specifically on real food in pregnancy. If you want a more general food book, I recommend How to heal your metabolism by Kate Deering.
If you are reading this list in preparation for pregnancy and you are not yet pregnant, then I recommend Lily Nicols other book that she wrote with the author of The fifth vital sign, Lisa Hendrickson-Jack called Real food for fertility.
If you've been diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, Lily Nichols also has a book called Real Food for Gestational Diabetes. I have not read this one. I opted out of doing the GB test in pregnancy.
I have a discussion with my wise nutrition friend, Jacqui, on Youtube where we discussed why we recommend this book and a few take aways. Watch discussion about Expecting Better.
There are MANY inferences drawn my Emily Oster that I don't agree with, but I think this book is still a valuable read, because it highlights the many decisions in pregnancy, birth and beyond that do not have a clear answer that is right in all scenarios and that there is also a lot of fear mongering that is not based in actual fact. This book is best read in the 1st trimester to set the foundation for decision making that is to come and how just because a so-called expert says something is so, doesn't make it so.
Note I did not, and will not, be reading her second book called Cribsheet because I don't agree with most of it based off the summary I read.
This book is best read in preconception or in the first trimester. It will challenge most of what people commonly accept as the "right medical decision". I don't necessarily agree with all the content in this book and found at times the opinion expressed was potentially a bit intense or extreme given the limited information available (doing studies on pregnancy, birth and babies is not easy), but I did find it very valuable to challenge my thinking and as a starting point to look into some things more to make the decision I felt was best for us.
This is probably my most recommend book on this list. If you choose to only read one or two books from this list, I recommend this one. I read this one in my 3rd trimester, but I wish I had read it in preconception or in the first trimester. Thankfully for me, via other sources, I had already come to many of the same approaches as detailed in the book.
What makes this book so great is that it is a wonderful mixture of natural motherly instincts and science-y/information-based things. I often have friends where the woman is more inclined to the natural instinctive approach and their partner requires more logical, information-based things. This book is a great resource for such couples.
I am not sure if it matters what I do and don't agree with since I made decisions for my journey, but I do agree with most of the content in this book. I love that her and her husband are doctors, and she birthed all 5 children at home. I like that mixture of the medical but then taking a less medical approach to pregnancy, birth and babies.
I also found the Gentle Parenting part of the book (the end of it) aligned well with the choices I had already decided on.
In my 3rd trimester my husband and I listened to this on Audible whenever we drove in the car or were doing house things together. I 100% recommend doing that.
The first part of this book is just birth stories. It was valuable for us to listen to them, and discuss them, in the weeks leading up to the birth of Elba. We have a planned homebirth and therefore it was very important to me that my husband be well prepared for the unpredictable and amazing process of birth.
I didn't make it all the way through this book before Elba was born. I look forward to finishing it in a future 3rd trimester.
The Birth Partner: A complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and other Labor Companions
If you want a book for your birth partner to read in pregnancy, this is the book I recommend. I did not read it. My husband Ian did. Admittedly I think he found it a bit boring given that we had done birth classes and spoken about pregnancy and birth for years. Nonetheless, I think it is a good one to have on hand.
There is an updated version of this book called The art of breastfeeding (the 9th edition). I read the one I liked in the title.
This is the only book on breastfeeding I recommend, and I do recommend anyone who values breastfeeding read this in preparation. Mine is covered in sticky notes where I marked things in case I wanted to have that information on hand. This book well prepared me for breastfeeding (still going strong nearly 2 years in). I have 3 videos on my Youtube channel where I detail what I did to make my breastfeeding journey a success.
I recommend reading it in pregnancy and not postpartum because in pregnancy you can focus on the information with a clearer mind.
If you are having challenges with breastfeeding or simply want community on the journey, I also recommend looking into your local La Letche League meetings. I still attend them.
Whether you plan to co-sleep or not I recommend this book. Many parents end up co-sleeping out of necessity and not choice. It is important to know how to do so safely. More than that though I think it is wonderful to read about why your baby probably only wants to sleep with you and sleeps better with you, and how this is also beneficial for the mother.
Co-sleeping is covered in many resources, but once I was actually doing it, I wanted to be more equipped. I read/listened to this book in the middle of the night shortly after Elba was born. I wish I had read it in pregnancy instead because listening to some of the behind-the-scenes public policy things newly postpartum was difficult and not gentle, but nonetheless I am happy I read it (I have it on Audible and the physical copy because I think it such a wonderful book).
Another book on this topic that I've heard is good, but haven't read myself is Sweet Sleep by La Letche League.
I am very opinionated about the sacred postpartum period and how mothers and society are not honoring it in a way that protects mother and baby and lays a strong foundation for the transition that mothers go through, or babies go through. This book is a useful one in terms of detailing the importance of the first 40 days. It has a strong focus on food and provides some recipes.
I have a Youtube video on how I prepared for the first 40 days. I also detailed every day on my Instagram.
I found value in the book, but I also recognized that I found many of the recipes a bit too exotic for my taste, and I also wanted more in terms of practical things for the first 40 days that weren't around food. I discovered the book The Fourth Trimester: A Postpartum Gudie to Healing Your Body, Balancing Your Emotions, and Restoring Your Vitality a year after Elba was born. I bought it 2nd hand but I haven't read it.
I do think there needs to be more and better information about the sacred post-partum period out there for women, but it makes SUCH a different to the foundation of motherhood and our baby's transition from womb to world. I might in a future 40 days decide to detail that information for women in more detail than I did last time. Honoring the first 40 days (properly) was one of the best things I did.
I read this in pregnancy, and we did elimination communication from birth, and I think it is wonderful and would recommend it to all parents.
If you're not sure about elimination communication - I have loads of videos on it on my Youtube channel that you can check out to decide.
I already saw the value of nurture and closeness with my baby by the time I read this, but I still found value in hearing the information behind it and hearing what felt right to me be validated with some science (so to speak).
Closely related to the nurture revolution, but even more aligned with my approach is the next book. If you are going to pick one of the two - I recommend the next one.
I wish I had read this book in pregnancy. I didn't discover the work of Marion Rose until after Elba was one. Because Elba was no longer a baby, I did not (have not) read the emotional life of babies. I have read the toddler book called "I'm Here, I'm Listening" by Marion Rose and I've discussed this book at length with people I recommended it to.
I know that there are a few things I would have approached differently with Elba had I read this book when she was a baby or in pregnancy. Nonetheless, I am aware now and I will read it in detail before having another baby.
And that is my recommended reading in pregnancy list. If you want more recommendations, check out my parenting books I recommend. You may have noticed I didn't specifically include a book on vaccines. That books I recommend on that topic are covered in my parenting book recommendation list, but I do nonetheless recommend reading up on the topic in pregnancy to make an intentional and informed decision.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this list and if there are any other books you recommend people read in pregnancy!
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