Day 1 - The village in our home

Welcome to Day 1 of sharing our First 40-day journey - a sacred time that needs to be treated with such care and sensitivity as a foundation for baby to transition from womb to world and for me to transition to mother (again).

Starting the first 40 days

Of course, it starts with the birth of our baby - read the birth details here. And our birthing experience will have such an impact on the days (maybe the weeks and years) that follow - for us and for baby. How we birth matters. And if birth had difficult elements - for us or baby - it means being even more intentional in healing (physically and emotionally).

I am beyond grateful to share that this birth was so wonderful! It was so much more empowered, calm (while still so intense) and with so much less pain than my birth with Elba. And this matters with how much I did then to heal and how I will approach it this time.

Physical birth things

Thanks to a few factors, but I think leaning into the intensity and my friend C providing some perineal support (and the general calm environment) even with an insanely fast labour (my body pushed baby out in 4 ejection reflexes - i.e. I didn't push at all) - ZERO tearing! A little graze but no tearing. Oh, I am grateful. With Elba I had 2 x 2nd degree tears, stiches, swelling and bruising.

While it is still very important to be intentional about healing, this does mean that I won't require as much care to the area as I needed the first time.

Support for physical healing

The backup midwife (amazing) set up all my postpartum healing supplies. Placed my organic cotton reusable pads near the toilet, along with perineal bottle (I love the one I have - linked) filled with warm water, along with some cloths.

NO PADICLES - I am big on absolutely no cold or frozen pads. No use of ice or anything cold on the area. Yes, it provides temporary relief, but it impedes longer term healing. Warmth is needed. When I had tearing and stitches I placed a warm cloth on the area several times a day.

Free bleeding - The last time I free bled for 24 hours. I did that again. Maybe it isn't practical for moving about, but we shouldn't be moving about anyway. I used reusable incontinence mats (linked - I have 3 of these sets + other cotton ones) and many thrifted towels. We just birthed a whole human - while it may seem unusual, it is so good for us to just keep things off that area and let the bleeding flow.

With midwife Maddy

The village in our home

Last time after the midwives and doula left - it was just me, Ian and our baby Elba. This time - our home was much more alive with the sound of support!

Baby M was born at 05:15. The midwives left around 8-9am (they arrived around 6am). My friend C who helped through birth stayed with us. Ian still needed to finish up some work - so the help was so appreciated especially with Elba!

By lunch time another friend had arrived and put a big pot of chicken soup on the stove and a bread to bake in the oven.

Chicken soup from S with raw carrot salad

Friends and Ian helped me walk to the bathroom to clean up a bit, while they changed my bed sheets, bleeding mats, towels and blankets. Provided me with herbal tea, adrenal cocktails and snacks (more details coming in future days of what tea and what adrenal cocktails).

I stayed naked doing skin to skin with baby M. On our fresh bed. Blinds still closed to keep light (even natural light) low in this sensitive time.

Elba's play sitter arrived for 2 hours of playing. Ian continued to work. Friends left. Elba's play sitter's mom (B) brought us homemade dinner (I cannot express how grateful I am for the amazingness of people) and stayed a little longer because Ian was busy working and I had my hands full with two kiddos. Elba fell asleep (it's been an intense time for her).

Ian finished up work. C arrived back to spend the night with us and help out as needed.

Homemade brownie we received from B

It felt like our home was a full - an unusual experience given the solitude we had last time. But it felt so supported. Amazing, kind, helpful women in my space felt supportive and not invasive at all.

People in our space for the first 40 days - women. Women who are comfortable with real and women who we feel comfortable around.

Allowing support - raw

An important part of this journey is allowing support. Not being worried about if my house looks nice or being worried or self-conscious about being nude and bleeding.

My friend S helped wipe me down - several times. Wiped off baby poop and pee (I free bleed and we also feel it's best for baby to be diaper free). Wiped blood off my legs.

I also took a brief Epsom salt bath to feel fresh and clean. Applied some deodorant and lay down on fresh towels. It felt nice to smell neutral again.

S gave me a wonderful lymph massage.

Food & drinks

Post birth drinks

Sweet drinks are needed immediately post birth - I had:

Apple juice diluted with water with some salt and crampbark tincture added to it.

Thanks to my neighbor for dropping off a huge box of postpartum supplies - including crampbark tincture for after birth pain / contractions.

I also had some herbal tea. Some broth. Some Mexican coke (made with cane sugar and not high fructose corn syrup) immediately post birth.

The people around me made super sure I was hydrated and getting enough minerals and electrolytes in.

Food

Other days will detail more about what kinds of foods we want and don't want in this time.

Main snack- collagen, coconut date balls. Here is the recipe. We actually bought a food processor to make these date balls because we've been making so many of them.

Raw carrot salad - see Dr Ray Peat Raw carrot salad information here. I will be eating this every single day for my digestion and hormone health in this time. I had digestion issues last time and therefore I have committed to being stricter his time with what I do and don't eat (while still choosing food and beverages that are not ideal over not eating and drinking).

Brownie and cake - This wasn't on the list of healthy first 40 days things to eat. But they were brought to us, and I really appreciated the something sweet before starting the night shift.

Broth - Technically a drink - but I will be having it daily (often twice a day in the first 40 days). Today I had Ian's homemade one that includes seaweed.

Supplementary things

It was a huge adjustment day - I didn't remember to take my usual supplements.

I only had some organ blend supplements at the end of the day.

A little pale and tired, but happy heart

I did quite a bit to ensure that my iron (ferritin) was up before birth - read about that here. Having decent iron (and other accompanying health factors) is important for postpartum.

A tough night

We were so big on adjusting during the day that came the night - we were exhausted and I'd say a little less prepared than we usually are. We set up my bedside cart, but not in full because we were tired and had our hands full with two kids.

Ian had slept a total of 20 minutes and spent most of the day working. He was exhausted.

We forgot to set me up with sufficient drinks and snacks. It was a long night for me nursing little M.

Ian was passed out and slept for 10 hours before I woke him (with great difficulty) because I had gone 12 hours without eating something. Which is way too long post partum and nursing. But we fixed that - More on that in Day 2.

Random - Most used item

A plug in heating pad my friend C brought - especially after returning to bed from the bathroom.

Ian and friends did so many loads of laundry to keep a flow of fresh towels, blankets, bedding and mats.

Concluding remarks

I was so supported - in person and from friends and family from afar via my birth group - more on that another day.

I allowed for real and raw and to be taken care of by women in my life. This is important in our foundation for motherhood.

Day 2 coming soon.

More information will be unpacked in other days - and excuse any typos or other things. I write this in real time post-partum :)

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