Day 21 - Doing the things I said

Carmen Fourie
15 hours ago
4 min read

How precious is my sweet Elba helping me change the sheet?

It has not been the easiest in this sensitive time to be very relaxed about normal toddler behaviour. Thankfully the initial very heightened sensitivity has subsided and it is becoming easier by the day. But that being said I am also realizing my mindset needs some adjustments going forward (more on that another day).

Child making a bed in a bright room with a large window. White sheets and a neatly stacked mattress. Cozy and tidy atmosphere.

okay - Day 21. So first thing is - I am moving less. No squats today. I left my ice container for my ice on the counter because I couldn't bend to the freezer while M in the carrier to put it back.

Second thing - more home organizing. It is important that Ian and I figure out how to organize and run our home so that it allows flexibility for our kids. And organize and run ourselves to allow flexibility for our kids.

We started listening to How to Manage Your Home without Losing Your Mind on Audible while doing usual home things (like Ian making food or cleaning up while I sit holding M).

A surprised face peers over a stack of dirty dishes. An orange polka-dot plate shows book title: How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind.

We are making changes like our couch - I can't have things piled on it at the end of the day (so the vacuum goes) because I often need to sit on it at the start of the day to nurse M. So I need less things to throw off it. This was the before (I didn't take an after photo, but you get the point).

Disorganized pink couch with cushions, blankets, and pillows scattered. A wooden board is placed on top. Light, cluttered setting.

It also inspired Ian to make space in the kitchen for the many broth jars, because he is making broth 1 to 2 times a week, so it doesn't make sense to have the jars in their usual place (another room) or just standing around waiting.

For some people with organized and uncluttered homes this may be obvious - but we are people with stuff and we have yet to learn the art of less stuff and more organized. Feel free to learn alongside us if you're prepping for a baby, or have kids and your home isn't working for you or just no kids and your home isn't working for you.

I am very motivated to make our space and our general lives flow better while Ian is still home with us, because that is going to make such a difference to my experience once it is me and two kids doing the things again with Ian back at work.

*Motivated, but also doing it slowly as to not disturb rest and recovery. More in the sense of it being complimentary to this phase.

Another first

Speaking of when Ian goes back to work - I usually had a lot of playdates with other moms and their kids for Elba. Like 1 to 2 a week.

Person holds a baby on a gray textured blanket. Nearby are laundry items, a green bowl, and clothes on wood flooring, creating a cozy scene.

We had our first official playdate today. It was actually my bad. It was scheduled for next week and I got the dates wrong, but told Elba it was happening. And she was bummed I got the dates wrong, but amazingly the mom + 2 kiddos came over on short notice.

Now I love connecting with other moms and in particular this friend who came - really fills up my cup. BUT toddlers are intense. Which means the session is both beautiful, but can also be quite intense. So Ian was there to help out as well. I am a bit nervous for playdates when it is just me and 2 kids, but we have enough time and sessions where Ian will be present to ease into it. This is true for most things with 2. I will ease myself into things and do less if necessary or do modified versions of things.

Some people just seem super graceful with parenting - I don't think I am there yet, but that is goals for me - be graceful even in chaos. But also accept who I am and that I need to ease myself into things and that is okay (I've always been like that with new experiences).

The photo above is just my usual - cloth diaper and potty lying around with M on a nursing pillow.

A little bit about sleep

We cosleep (this has been covered). But me with M and Ian with Elba (in the same room). We don't have challenges actually sleeping, but... we are still figuring out how to not spend SO MUCH TIME on the routine / things we do before sleeping.

Woman relaxing with two young children under a blue quilt in a sparse room. The baby wears a patterned onesie. Calm, cozy atmosphere.

Seriously - before sleep and bed is taking so long.

A lot of it is beautiful and special family time, but a lot of it also takes long so we are evaluating which parts of it can have changes made to it. More on this another day (I will share our actual routine).

A woman holding a baby smiles at a child reading a book in bed. The setting is cozy with gray bedding and a simple white wall.

Photo above I was reading to Elba and then she moved on to reading to herself - she is loving her new books a friend in South Africa bought for us - Stick Man and What the ladybug heard.

Ooh and one my friend C left here "No No Baby". And her usual favourites - all the Dr Seus books.

Concluding remarks

A man kneels holding a baby, while a young girl gestures nearby. They're in a cozy, cluttered living room with toys and a fluffy chair.

My bleeding is down thanks to one day of moving less.

We had prawns again for dinner - cook once eat at least twice.

Oh and Little M smiled!! Like real smile - not just muscle movements. Very special.

And I was alone twice with the kiddos as Ian sorted out the tire (it needed to be replaced and couldn't be repaired).

And that is Day 21 - 3 weeks!

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