Day 24 - Cutting up Marshall's clothes & the Best Gift

Day 24! Time is feeling weird - it's gone so fast, but also hard to remember life before baby M came now.

General overview

It is feeling less like we are constantly adjusting or rather feeling less "new". I am more used to my changed body now, rather than feeling so unfamiliar in it with the constant changes. We are getting to know M more - EC (elimination communication) is going so well because this little dude has very clear poop and pee communication and prefers the potty over a diaper. But also learning more about what is bothering him or how he likes to sleep.

Here is my newborn elimination communication video with Elba.

My biggest challenge right now is how to be the parent I want to two kids. Our parenting approach is very hands on and attachment style. It means that Elba at nearly 3 is very independent with so much (toilet by herself, plays for long by herself, etc), but I am struggling to have toddler conversations with her (she likes to chat and I am finding I don't have much chatting energy), I am struggling to make requests of her rather than demands (i.e. I am not allowing much room for her choice and us finding strategies that work for both of us), struggling to navigate her enthusiasm for her brother (keeping him unharmed and not diminishing her enthusiasm with my constant NOs) and I am struggling in general with the stimulus of two.

I also find my mind is thinking about the future a lot, which I don't like. I wish to be present. But I am finding myself things a lot "how am I going to do this when Ian goes back to work". And yes, valid concern, but also things will be different by then and I am pretty resourceful and resilient so I know I will find a way without needing to worry about it now. The most useful thing I can do with those thoughts is to channel them into doing things now that will set us up for more success later (like healing well, adjusting well, organizing parts of our house, Ian batch cooking and freezing food, family meetings and plans, etc).

And then finally I am intense (this is not new to anyone who is familiar with me) - I am committed to things that are important to me, I find a way to make things work, I read a lot, I figure out how to do things, etc BUT I am not entirely cured of my perfectionism tendencies... I've done a lot of work in this regard and in many aspects I'm happy with good enough (like I don't proofread these blogs or use any AI to write them - because if I did, they wouldn't feel authentic and I wouldn't get them done). But with some things I put a lot of pressure on us to be "perfect" like being present with our children, and patient, and grounded and communicate effectively... and it isn't realistic, because we aim to communicate in ways so differently from what we know or see around us that it isn't our default just yet. We are learning how to navigate new phases with our children often and doing so while doing a lot of other things.

So at the end of the day I often feel like we aren't doing well, usually just because of a few times we were not as present or patient, when in reality I am placing so much focus on the "not perfect" and not enough focus on the many beautiful and truly impactful meaningful things in the day. I will need a little reflection shift to focus on the good, while not becoming complacent about the things I do want to be different with. It is a balance I haven't quite gotten yet.

On that note...

Valentines Day gift

Today is Valentine's Day - we don't celebrate it in the typical sense, but we do sometimes do things like intentional chats and reflections, or maybe gifts if we feel like it. This year we chose to do no gifts and to do an intentional relationship chat (that got shifted out because our currently reality). But I did buy a gift. For our whole family.

And it is the best gift - if I say so myself (gifts if my primary love language so I love giving gifts that mean a lot or I am excited about).

The rabbit listened book

Such a beautiful book that aligns so well with our family approach. Essentially the kid builds something they are so proud of and it breaks. The animals come one by one and offer different things - like solutions to fix it, attempts to laugh, distractions, and more. But the rabbit comes and just listens and the kid moves through all the actions and feels in the gentle empathetic presence of the rabbit.

It is a reminder that when we are going through something most times we simply want someone to listen.

The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld

Dinner - Soup

Yesterday I shared that Ian was making soup, but that I typically don't like soup (or rather I am fussy about type of soup I eat).

I am happy to share that the soup was great!

Nice rich lamb flavour and only nice veg that I didn't mind eating.

Plus there was lots of stock leftover for future soup.

Cutting up Marshall's clothes

So Marshall is only wearing non footed clothing at the moment. We are a barefoot / barefoot shoe family that prioritizes natural foot movement and development (and like most things we don't compromise on this - I am guessing this no longer surprises you). My mom bought us several non footed sleepers / onesies and we still had some from Elba's newborn days, but overwhelmingly we have footed sleepers. P.S. because I've only been using the non footed ones you see the same outfits in many photos.

I told Ian I don't know what we are going to do when M outgrows the outfits we're using now, because one size up we don't have any non footed sleepers. He said - cut the feet off...

My first thought was heck no - it will feel so wrong to cut up clothing that we will probably gift when we are done with it...

But then I chatted to Jacqui and she said she cut the feet off... So I revisited this idea and thought - if I don't do it, I won't use them. I don't want to buy new things and maybe someone will like them gifted without feet. Or maybe I should focus less on what will happen to the clothes and more on the utility of them now.

And yes, I probably could just wear them with feet on, but I don't want to have his toes confined in the feet, but also it isn't considered safe to baby wear when babies are wearing footed sleepers (unless you size up which I won't do because of other safety reasons).

*the baby wearing and no feet is because you can't see if circulation is cut off and it can easily happen if the sleeper is pulled tight by the carrier (which they often are).

So, I decided to try out one and cut the foot off and sew on a cuff using some of my stretchy ribbed organic cotton fabric (I use it to make bra's).

It worked!

I turned this awesome (gifted to us from our baby shower where I said 2nd hand gifts are super welcome) sleeper into a footless one I am excited to use that would otherwise have just stayed in the drawer not being used.

And little happy toes are free to move.

P.S. for cold I put on breathable loose socks rather than having sleepers with the feet attached.

Tomorrow I will be doing this to more of the sleepers :) or try to.

This was my first time sewing since M was born! My second project (I crocheted a gift goose). It is nice to feel the inspiration and creativity for these things come back, as well as figure out how to do them (in this case mostly with M in the carrier and Elba helping me).

And that is Day 24! Thanks for being here! Comments are welcome I love hearing from you.

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