Day 25 - Food & Intimacy talk

Today is Sunday - a day of family time and food making (Ian is making lots of food for us). Ian making lots of food on Sundays might become our typical Sundays when he returns to work for us to have our healthy home cooked meals.

Food Ian made today (with toddler help)

Broth

Ian made his big batch of broth - we've had twice a day everyday since M was born and we are likely to continue to have until Spring comes.

I read a lot of health & nutrition things, but it is not my expertise beyond looking into what I want to do for me & my family, therefore I got AI to write a decent summary of what I want to say about why we're having so much broth.

Why loads of broth in the first 40 days?

• Supports deep tissue repair after birth due to its concentration of amino acids like glycine and proline, which are foundational for rebuilding connective tissue.

• Easy to digest when digestion is naturally slower postpartum; warmth and simplicity reduce metabolic burden.

• Replenishes minerals lost during pregnancy and birth—sodium, potassium, magnesium—supporting hydration and nervous system regulation.

• Helps stabilize blood sugar during a time of hormonal recalibration, reducing crashes and supporting steady energy.

• Warm, cooked, soft foods align with traditional postpartum care across cultures, supporting circulation, warmth, and recovery.

• Hydrating without being heavy—ideal for breastfeeding mothers who need increased fluid intake without digestive strain.

• Supports gut repair and motility, which can be sluggish after birth due to hormonal shifts and abdominal pressure changes.

• Provides grounding nourishment that supports parasympathetic (rest‑digest‑repair) dominance, which is essential for postpartum healing.

That being said we don't only prioritize broth in this time, we have consumed broth for years from a health perspective - our health perspective is a prometabolic / Dr Ray Peat Inspired / Bio Energetic outlook.

Some information from Prometabolic perspective

• Rich in glycine, which balances methionine intake and supports liver detoxification—key for hormonal recovery.

• Glycine is anti‑inflammatory and anti‑stress, helping buffer cortisol and support a calmer metabolic state.

• Gelatin supports thyroid function by lowering the metabolic “stress load” from muscle‑meat‑heavy diets.

• Provides easily usable amino acids that support mitochondrial energy production without creating excess metabolic waste.

• Warm, salty broth supports metabolic rate by improving circulation, body temperature, and cellular energy.

• Gelatin helps stabilize blood sugar by slowing gastric emptying and improving glucose tolerance.

• Supports gut integrity and reduces endotoxin burden—central to Ray Peat’s framework for lowering inflammation and improving metabolic health.

• Offers a protein source that is gentle on digestion and doesn’t require high digestive enzyme output, preserving energy for healing.

In my first first 40 days I had broth often (not as often this time), but I also supplemented Glycine. I have since stopped supplementing Glycine (we have a pure powder form that Ian used to add to my milky cacoa). I can't tell you why, but I feel it negatively impacts on my digestion. Maybe it is the particular supplement we have, but I was so put off from the few times I tried it that I haven't supplemented it again. Sharing it as an option if super regular broth / gelatin gummies are not something that is easy to consume.

More egg - in the form of custard

A warm sugary eggy dish - perfect for this time (yes we consume sugar as a healthy food - yes I know this might shock lots of people, but sugar gets the blame for processed junk. We don't eat processed junk.) This is some wonderful organic sugar (although I am not entirely convinced the organic part of sugar matters that much) and free range egg and tapioca as the thickener). Oh and some good quality cream.

Very prometabolic dish.

I made lunch

Just a snack lunch with Elba. We've been having breakfast late so we've just been doing snack type lunches with some broth.

Meringue

Making custard leaves you with many egg whites - Ian made Meringue for the first time. You can find the recipes for the custard and the meringue here (we make them as part of our Malva Pudding).

For a first attempt for Ian they are decent - just a bit toasted (they taste normal).

Meringue is too light for me as a breastfeeding snack - so I will need to come up with something else for tomorrow night since my shortbread cookies will be done.

Dinner was left over soup and bread... I am thinking I need to go back to no bread. Sadly. I'll give a digestion update in a day or two. Urg.. healing is not linear.

On that note...

Healing update

I needed to make a new heading to separate food from this - but seriously... how much less movement must I do?

Today I changed the sheet wearing the carrier and with the help of Ian. It does involve some squats because it is a floor bed. And then I wanted to do more - so I did some of the laundry (put it in the machine for the first time).

and then.... yup... you guessed it bleeding again. I am being mindful to limit movement, but it seems stairs and squats in the carrier is a major trigger for bleeding again. It isn't constant. It is more like a "hello - you did too much" and then goes away.

I know I should be grateful for how little healing has needed to happen this time relative (and I am grateful), but also this bleeding is frustrating.

On that note... let's quickly talk intimacy and libido.

Intimacy & Libido talk

Okay since I overshare anyways, why not add to that oversharing by discussing intimacy & libido. That is sort of a joke... because yup it is a personal vulnerable topic, but also it is a huge thing for most couples after having a baby.

Last time the challenges for me and us were - firstly I had 2 x 2nd degree tears, and I was terrified of more pain in that area. I waited until I had a pelvic floor assessment at 9 weeks to even consider it and at that appointment, I still had scar tissue healing. Sex wasn't painful per say, but there were times I did experience pain where I tore (position dependent). This is very common and I joked with a friend that for a while things need to be "boring" (it isn't, but it does require more consideration and care than when there isn't pain).

The other probably bigger challenge was I had ZERO libido for 6 months PP last time. Like nothing. It was flat lined for basically the first time since I developed a libido. It wasn't an emotional thing for me - it was hormonal. I know because it literally felt like my body just wasn't registering in that department. It wasn't about being tired, or touched out, or any of that. And then one day I stopped getting that intense let down feeling with breastfeeding... and just like that my libido came back. So it was very clearly tied to my body adjusting to breastfeeding and the hormones with it. I continued to exclusively breastfeed and there was no supply issues. It was more just like my body regulated.

And then finally the practical issue - finding time and energy after having a baby isn't the easiest thing.

Where we are now...

Since I keep having on off bleeding, I haven't seriously considered venturing there yet, because I am still mindful of the possibility of infection after birth and all that.

From a pain perspective I am feeling very optimistic that I will not experience pain because (I am still so grateful) I did not tear this time and no stitches and for the most part my pelvic floor feels great! Like it does feel a bit "tired" if I move a lot, but last time it felt stretched and weak, not just tired from moving. I am very optimistic things will be better this time.

And then - this to me is great - my libido feels fine! Like I haven't done the deep to know if all the lights are online, but I don't have that same flat feeling I had last time. I do get that intense let down, but it feels my breastfeeding is regulating faster this time (barely leaking). I am not experiencing those hormonal feels around breastfeeding I had last time. This is hard to explain but last time literally upon latch I would get sort of rushes of hormonal feels. This time I don't get that. Maybe because I breastfed for over 2.5 years before this and only stopped a few weeks before birth because milk dried up. I don't know... but things feel different.

Intimacy

Intimacy obviously does not just mean penetrative sex. But I thought I would discuss the most common challenge couples have - which is getting back to just traditional sex.

Anyways in terms of intimacy - something that has been surprising this time... Even with two babies and basically not having a single moment of the day where one of them isn't touching me - I still do not feel touched out (as someone who isn't big on touch or cuddling). Actually, I had this craving for adult touch and told Ian we have been so busy that we haven't hugged, kissed or lay together much. Funny but true when we tried after I said that Elba climbed between us and told Ian not to touch me because she wanted to hold me. So yeah... we will have some practical challenges to overcome, but since we're almost 3 years into this parenting thing and many years into being a couple with general life stuff - I am sure we will figure it out and get creative.

So I will give an update when there is more of an update to give on this topic. And if you want to send me your experience or questions privately feel free to do so. I think it is a challenge for couples and worth talking about if we can make life more wonderful for everyone.

Fun fact - I read in a book that there were times and cultures that made sex taboo for 2 years after birth to avoid another pregnancy and space children for health reasons, and then to protect the men from feeling "rejected" because physically breastfeeding fulfills a lot of the needs making sex less of a need in that time (touch wise, hormone wise, etc). I share this as something to note if you somehow expected things to just bounce back and they are not and it is a challenge and that feels hard.

For couple stuff I often recommend - Mating in Captivity by Ester Perell

I read even in this time

I like reading as my source of information gathering - by reading I mean books.

Currently I am reading the Aware Parenting books (the baby and toddler one) by Aletha Solter. I am appreciating the information and reminders in this time - especially because it is a time where my toddler has more feels and I have less resources, and I have a new baby who is different and I am figuring out how I want to navigate that. I didn't know about Aware Parenting until Elba was 1 years old. So this is the first time parenting a baby with the information.

I don't subscribe to one parenting framework - I take information and inspiration. But a lot of what we choose to do aligns with Aware Parenting. And it aligns with nonviolent communication. I just don't like abdicating reasoning to a parenting paradigm, but rather I like to just have my choices and approaches stand alone. I.e. I do xzy because of this reason... not I do xyz because I following whatever parenting approach.

Still cutting up & sewing clothes

It feels really nice for me to do some of my DIY project stuff so soon. I thought it would be weeks or months before I felt up to it or had the energy or time to even bother. I think after my first baby my brain was taking in so much new that I definitely didn't have capacity for additional projects, and also parenting was so new that I didn't want to take energy elsewhere.

I am happy to share that I did another one of Marshall's sleepers.

This was a 2nd hand gift outfit and I am using organic ribbed cotton off cuts for the cuffs.

I can only do this for the sleepers that don't have super low zippers.

So I can't see how to do that light green one - the zip goes right to the foot.

And done!

Also how sweet - Elba asked for her "cutter" and told Ian to get her the pattern paper upstairs so she can cut out a pattern for sewing. Then asked me for the tape to tape together her cut out pattern, but I said I didn't have it - so she got her stickers and taped the "pattern pieces" together and then gave it to me and said I can sew it...

I love moments like this - just total awe of my kid, but also honestly glimpses of what life will be for US. And not just hearing others say it is chaos or survival. Because my time with Elba wasn't chaos or just survival. Yes, parts of it was hard - but it been so wonderful and I trust that is what this will be too. Really wonderful. I feel very grateful to be having this experience.

And that is Day 25 (I had to look it up because my brain isn't focused on remembering the day at the moment. I have made a few mistakes with playdates and appointments and things because of this).