Day 34 - I just want to wash my hair

There are a few things that distinctly stand out about the first year of motherhood for me - one of them how difficult I found it to have time (or rather prioritize) washing my hair. And remembering distinctly how I would panic wondering if I had enough time to finish washing and brushing my hair before Elba needed me.

But that only started when Elba was a little older... But M is different.

M wants to be held (mostly by me) when he is tired or asleep. When he is awake then he happily lies around staring at things and moving his body. In my first 40 days I would take really long baths every night while Elba lay on Ian's chest... that is not happening this time.

Now I take quick baths with Elba and I push out washing my hair most nights to hurry up or focus on something else instead. So I am definitely cutting it off soon.

Toddler connection / easy connection

There are "easy" ways we have connection with Elba that do not require explicit time for connection. One of those ways is cosleeping (she sleeps with Ian at the moment). And another way is through bath or shower time. She gets the choice to bath with me or shower with Ian. Given how little time her and I get now (relative to before) we have been bathing together every night. It is an easy way to give connection because we are getting a task done together with 100% focus on her (if she wants. A lot of the time she just plays in the bath next to me).

Differences in kids

It is interesting to note the differences in our current experience. I held Elba all the time because I wanted to, not because she needed it. She would have happily slept on her own. I could easily put her in the bassinet and roll it to Ian's office for her to lie there while he did something on his PC and I went to the bathroom. Little M - not so much.

He needs more support (already) to relax for sleep and wants to be held all the time. He wakes up if I put him down in the bassinet or on the floor if I want to use the bathroom. Clearly he needs more connection for whatever reason and I will provide it because through this focus on connection now he will have a solid foundation to be more independent and explorative later. I don't worry about holding my babies too much or spoiling them, or creating "bad" sleeping habits. I only worry about giving them a lot of connection and nurture.

That being said - my parenting choices are not the most practical for getting much done when I have littles. So my hair doesn't get washed much.

P.S. If you missed it - I have really long hair. So it takes long to wash and brush.

Physical Health

Ian and I both still have a cold. We've asked Elba's playsitter to come for longer today to help out (3 hours instead of the usual 2).

And then on top of the cold - my thumb hurts (commonly known as Mothers Thumb). A specific pain from how we lift newborns up. And in my case hold M on the potty.

I am grateful both kids look good still - although I definitely felt a jolt of concern if either of them so much as sneezed.

Food & Drinks

I didn't manage to take a photo before Elba ate them, but how lovely are these pink cupcakes (more pink than the photo is showing). Baked as a gift for Elba who wanted a pink cake for her birthday but Ian and I are not skilled bakers.

And how considerate that they are made pink using all natural ingredients - strawberries and raspberries, because we don't eat dye. It is never an expectation that people should consider how we choose eat or do things, but it is definitely so appreciated when they do!

Back to regular raw carrot salad - thanks to Ian bulk making it and serving it for me daily. Because I pretty much don't put M down we are naturally adhering to the first 40 days of food being served for me.

And we are still having broth twice a day. This cup while little M does some diaper free time (because he is awake so happy to lie around on his own looking at things).

Diaper free time

Part of elimination communication is doing diaper free / observation time. I don't do that. We also didn't with Elba (if I remember correctly). I think it is helpful to do if you want to observe you baby's poop or pee indicators, but with M and Elba it has been rather obvious from the beginning without doing diaper free observation.

We started EC with both of them just doing transitional potty offer (after some activity like sleep or nursing) and then their signs became obvious (more so M than Elba at this age). Then we start to offer when we see the communication, as well as natural timing (knowing more or less when they need to go after nursing).

See my Youtube EC videos for more.

The diaper free time we do is just to let bits air. While almost all of M's poops are in the potty (it is amazing to experience! - more about this on another day), there are many wee diapers in a day and I think it is wonderful for the area to just get some air.

We do 100% cloth diaper. No bum creams needed with cloth diapering. We do cotton cloths for wipes upstairs and right now pure wet wipes downstairs (because I am still mostly upstairs and we haven't set up a system for downstairs just yet).

Projects

M has gone up a size - from newborn to 0 - 3 months. Which means I am going to cut off some more feet off sleepers.

And use my organic cotton off cuts to make cuffs.

This one was done yesterday.

I am experimenting with making the cuffs longer and bigger.

This one (below) I made the longest. And then folded them over for now. The idea is then it will fit longer, but we will see.

I am so happy that it was suggested to me to cut the feet off! Because I am really happy we're using the clothing we have (a lot of it gifted to us from the BUY NOTHING community group). And we can still stick to what we want - free feet.

I am also going to finish this organic cotton bra because I really need another one. The first one I made was awesome for my engorged breasts, but now that they've deflated that one might need some altering. The second one I made is awesome for now and this is the third one.

And done!

They all use the same pattern I made (I will digitize it soon, but I am considering how much to take on in this time), with the difference being where the front cross over is attached. More engorged one the front cross over is more towards the front (narrower).

Connection & Social

So yesterday I shared a whole long thing about social interactions that can be difficult and disruptive to our piece, BUT I still crave connection in this time. My favourite way for that right now is video calls.

I am very used to video calls being a way to connect, because I often do video calls with friends and family who live far. Today I had a long wonderful easy chat with my cousin - Olivia_Blissbody.

Our chats feel so easy. I feel seen and heard. But also somehow always leave the chat with some new realizations or inspirations.

Tomorrow I have a call scheduled with Jacqui (Wellness for Women). I also find my chats with her to be so easy, so connecting and I feel inspired.

I feel very fortunate to have so many wonderful (and such wise) women in my life.

And that is day 34! Thanks for being here.