Day 5 - A whole lot of changes

A whole lot of little (but they feel big) changes happening on day 5, but also, I am seeing signs of us moving through all the initial major things to a space of slightly more of a regular rhythm.

P.S. Comments are welcome (box at the bottom)

We just woke up faces

Morning

Our morning started with us waking to load knocks on the door. Our Midwife Maddy had stopped by for an early (9am) visit, but we were all asleep. Thankfully we managed to wake from the knocking, and she could come and do the checks and chats.

Physical things

In the night little M's umbilical cord had fallen off - yay. I like when this happens because it is one less thing physical thing to be mindful of. Especially in our current situation where he hates diaper changes and I would ideally like to be using soft flats and the Disana knit ones, but I've switched to organic cotton fitted for now to make changes go faster.

My breasts are still seriously engorged....

They are rock hard and painful, but Little M is getting fitter and nursing is improving despite the challenges. I tried wearing a nursing cami today, but eventually gave up because even a shirt that is typically too large for me doesn't fit right now. I can't remember how long I had it for last time.

I have applied the topical arnica.

I am not sure how things will go this time, but admittedly it did take my breasts months (about 5) to regulate properly even without pumping. Given that it appears that might be the case again I have started shopping for bigger bras. Last time I didn't and it was an impractical 5 months.

Bleeding after birth - my bleeding is pretty much done. Little bit of spotting here and there, but I no longer require pads / period panties that are made for medium to heavy flow. I have swapped out wearing my organic cotton pads to wearing cotton very light flow period panties.

Linked are some nice ones from Amazon. I have them in medium and large. The medium definitely does not fit at the moment. I recommend sizing up for post-partum.

Many a little TMI, but also this is very common after birth... - hemorrhoids. I didn't get them immediately after my first birth, but I did end up getting them last time due to digestion issues after birth (hence me being extra strict this time in terms of supporting digestion). But this time I seem to have developed them from giving birth. Thankfully way less painful at this point and thankfully my neighbor dropped off a huge post-partum care package the afternoon before M was born. This care package includes a whole lot of options for hemorrhoid care (again it is super common). Lots of witch hazel type products. It was great to have a selection to choose from. I have settled on using cotton pads soaked in witch hazel for relief. It seems to be working.

Right so my boobs and bum hurt. Moving on to lighter less TMI things...

Food, Beverages, Snacks & Supplements

Same supplements today:

1. Desiccated thyroid - From the Life Giving Store

2. Vit D drops (it is winter in Canada)

3. Organ Blend

4. K2 - Lifebud (I have the capsules & the drops)

5. B Vitamins - Lifebud

6. Probiotic

7. Lactoferrin

Drinks

1. Adrenal cocktail - apple juice diluted 50:50 with water and a pinch of salt

2. Warm cacao milk with oyster powder, kelp extract, colostrum and syrup (I have two of these a day).

3. Herbal tea - dried berries (for Vit C & taste), nettle, red raspberry leaf and oat straw with some honey.

4. Broth - at least twice a day. A mug of homemade broth (recipe coming soon).

5. Water - filtered and remineralized.

Food:

We are still riding the wonderful wave of the food that was made for us and brought to us.

1. Date collagen balls (these are my overnight and during the day snacks currently)

2. Digestive balls made by a friend with oats, prunes and dates

3. Oats (sprouted, organic and soaked over night) cooked slow and low in milk with whey and wild blue berries.

4. Skipped lunch which was not a good idea.

5. Dinner was left over stew, broth and raw carrot salad.

This first week is a lot of new and adjusting and healing - in later days I will provide more details on why I eat what I eat, what I am prioritizing and what I am avoiding.

Connection

While the initial post partum period is not a typically social time, it is an important time to feel connected. We want to avoid feeling isolated and lonely (a feeling very prevalent for new mothers awake in the middle of the night). There are several ways I am avoiding this and I will share more on this as it become even more important. During this first week we've had a lot of care - in person and through messages. This will become less now (it naturally happens) and then it becomes more important for me to be intentional about ensuring I feel connected without over extending socially.

For today we had our first video call with family - my brother in law back in South Africa. Pre-baby boy joining us we have a close relationship with my BIL and we do regular video calls. Therefore, this is one that feels so natural to do in this time.

Video call with family

Final things for Day 5

The blind will stay partially closed for some time still. Open enough to give natural light, but not bright. Seem extreme? Have a look at little newborn eyes and their reaction to light changes. Everything is so new to them, and they are taking in so much stimulus - we want that to be enriching and feel good, not overwhelming.

I will expand on it another day, but there are things we consider "normal" baby behaviour or just something that happens - like so called "witching hour, but another theory for this is that it is the end of the day usually where the day could have contained to much stimulus for our little beings. Baby M is still too young for this, but it is something I am mindful of already. I will provide resources and my experience - as something worth mulling over, not to say it is that way, but to consider it.

Bedside cart

As we settle more into a rythem it is becoming easier to know what I need and want on my cart. It is of course still changing frequently.

Some things to note:

1. I removed the hakka and pump. I briefly pumped twice and decided I don't want to, even for a bit of relief. I also removed the hakka because I don't like using them. They suction and pull from the breast but also it feels unpleasant to have it on when nursing. If I want to catch any milk for Elba (she drinks it in a cup) I will use the ladybug.

2. I wanted to use flat diapers and the Disana ones, but until our little man is more comfortable with diaper changes I am doing a few things to make it a less stressful experience for him - so we are currently only using fitted ones. The ones I made from organic terry cotton (pattern will be uploaded soon - I did complete it before giving birth).

3. Since I started leaking - I've added nursing pads to the cart.

4. Foot less sleepers for baby M and no vests. Elba wore vests and sleepers. Baby M doesn't like being changed, so he is only in sleepers. No additional layers.

Concluding thoughts on parenting two littles

This will take continuous awareness and being intentional on our part - we are only now seeing what we find challenging or ways that our kids needs us more or less or differently. In the coming days I will share more on what we're doing, but for now - we are reflecting a lot. We reflect at least twice a day on our behaviour, our energy, our moods, our actions, our observations and theories of our kiddos and how we can be more aligned to the family values that we hold.

And then of course also for each other - for our partnership.

On days like today where I am in pain I don't have much energy left for anything other than tending to Baby M. So tending to Elba falls primarily on Ian's shoulders. I feel sad about it. Sad that I am not engaging more in conversation with her or that I need to constantly ask her to be mindful of jumping around me or even hugging me (because I am sore and holding baby M). It is so beautiful to have these two beings, and we are determined and excited to figure out day by day how to show up for ourselves, each other and them.

Thank you for joining me on this journey - Subscribe to the email updates if you haven't yet, leave a comment below and I will check back in with day 6.

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